Things I Learned When I Tried Casually Dating

Charles Stone shared this idea 40 days ago
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To begin with, casually dating someone is completely different from being in a real relationship. In an actual relationship, you're truly loving someone, having strong feelings for him, caring for him, never want to let him down, and possibly thinking about the future with him. This is nowhere near what a casual relationship is. When you're casually dating someone, there is actually a set of rules that you're supposed to follow. Rules like you can't fall in love with your partner (probably the biggest rule), you can still date other people when in a casual relationship, it's mainly about sex, don't get into each other's lives too much, and so on. Like I said before, it's the polar opposite of a real relationship. There are even things we lie about when it comes to casual dating.

And I actually tried casually dating once. While I enjoyed the experienced while it lasted... there's a ton that I learned throughout the time. I mainly got into a casual relationship because I wasn't so much feeling lonely, but to see where it would take off. And let me tell you, don't do it if you know that you'll fall in love easily. Once you set the rules with your partner, you gotta stick to it. No more further questions. Anyway, here's what I learned about casually dating someone.

Type doesn't matter when it's casual.
Honestly, type doesn't matter at all when you're casually dating someone. Since neither of you want it to be something serious, you're not trying to find your ideal type to play around with, right? If you want a real relationship, go ahead, find your perfect person. But if you're casually dating someone you know is 100 percent your type... Know what this means?

It means you'll possibly fall in love with him. And that's something no one wants in a casual relationship. Since there's no love happening in this type of dating, you certainly don't want to casually date your dream man. Be flexible with who you're picking when casually dating. It's fine to pick someone who's somewhat your type. If they're amazing in bed, then that's all that matters, right?

Things won't stay casual if you're only dating one person.
When you're casually dating, things won't stay casual if you're only dating that one person. What are you doing if you're only in a casual relationship and nothing more? While your partner is having sex with other people and you're only having sex with her, you're not taking advantage of this casual dating thing.

I know someone who only casually dated one person and nothing more. It's like they're tied down to that one person and it defeats the purpose of casually dating. Explore other people, get into real relationships with others; you're not locked down to the one you're casually dating and that's certainly not the concept of it. Remember, it's not casual if you're not exploring the grounds more.

People aren't accessories, and some don't realize it.
This is one of the major things that I learned about casually dating—that people aren't accessories. This is so important to know, especially when you're in a casual relationship with someone. That person isn't your "prize" or your "trophy wife." In fact, when you're casually dating someone, it's something that's usually not talked about. And there are people out there who literally have their partner around their arm like they're a bracelet or something.

People who are in casual relationships need to understand that the two partners aren't in a deep relationship. And even if you're casually dating someone, this doesn't mean you can hold them around, showing off that you're dating this person when you're really not. Your partner doesn't have any feelings for you, and that's what a casual relationship is mainly about.

Communication is key, even in a casual relationship.

In any relationship you're in, communication still plays a significant role. Those who are in casual relationships look past this, because they believe only real relationships consist of having good communication with your partner. But this is very... very wrong. When casually dating, you want your partner to understand a few things about yourself. What you want to gain out of from sex, not wanting to stay over and cuddle, don't want anything to do with the other one's life, and the list goes on.

How else are you and your partner setting rules in the casual relationship? The two of you have to let the other one know what's needed and not needed. And the only way for the relationship to work out is by letting them know—through communicating!

You're putting effort in a relationship that isn't going to work out because you're lonely.
You're not supposed to put so much effort in a casual relationship. Since you know so well that it's not going to work out through the rules that the two of you set, don't bother putting in so much effort. Especially if you're lonely, you don't want your casual partner to be your source of comfort when you need it and he's not available at the moment, because

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